The real scenarios managers face with working mothers.
Each week, we’ll feature real scenarios managers face with working mothers on their team and how to navigate towards a solution.
Sarah has always been a top-performing employee who consistently delivers high-quality work on time. Recently, she has started arriving a few minutes late to work, a noticeable change from her usual behavior. Her manager, Bill, issues a written warning for her tardiness, which will go on her record and be reflected in future performance reviews.
What Bill doesn’t know is that Sarah is nearly 12 weeks pregnant and experiencing severe morning sickness. She hasn’t told her employer yet because she wants to confirm the viability of her pregnancy. A few days later, Bill learns about Sarah’s pregnancy.
Did Bill handle the situation appropriately? What should he do now? And how can he prevent similar situations in the future?
Bill issued the written warning based on the surface-level behavior: Sarah was not following her schedule and, therefore, was not complying with company policy. However, given Sarah’s strong track record, a conversation should have happened first to flag his concern, understand what was happening, and give her an opportunity to correct course before escalating to formal discipline. Jumping straight to a written warning risks damaging trust, straining Sarah’s relationship with Bill, and jeopardizing her long-term commitment to the organization. An earlier conversation might have surfaced the challenges Sarah was navigating, allowing them to explore potential solutions and identify support before the situation escalated.
Now that Bill understands Sarah’s situation, he should connect with HR and the appropriate equity office to understand company policies, available resources, and the process for requesting accommodations under the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act. When meeting with Sarah, he should acknowledge the impact of moving prematurely toward disciplinary action, listen to her perspective without judgment, clarify expectations, and work with her to identify appropriate support and reasonable adjustments. Together, they should develop a realistic plan with clear expectations and follow-up check-ins. Rebuilding trust takes time, and Bill must demonstrate through consistent communication, follow-through, and early support that Sarah can safely raise concerns and ask for help without fear of judgment or premature disciplinary action.
To avoid similar situations in the future, Bill should initiate a conversation when he notices a change in an employee’s behavior, rather than focusing solely on policy violations. By asking questions, exploring potential barriers, clarifying expectations, and offering support, managers can address concerns early before they escalate. Building trust and modeling openness and empathy helps create an environment where employees feel safer raising challenges and asking for help. While managers cannot expect every employee to disclose personal circumstances, they can take responsibility for initiating conversations that balance accountability with support.
Sarah could have managed up by proactively communicating with Bill if she felt comfortable doing so. For example, she could have let him know she was navigating a personal challenge that was temporarily affecting her schedule, discussed what flexibility or support might help, and worked with him to develop a plan for meeting expectations. Managing up doesn’t mean sharing personal details you aren’t ready to disclose; it means communicating what you can, asking for support when needed, and working collaboratively to address challenges. While Sarah was not obligated to disclose her pregnancy, an earlier conversation (if she felt safe having one) might have helped Bill understand that something had changed and allowed them to find a solution before the situation escalated.